January 8, 2010

(This post contains a NSFW image. You've been warned.)

It's been awhile since I've professed my love for Sharon Stone but I think it's high time I do so one more time.

I love her most because she appears to lack any form of internal mental editor which makes quoting her endlessly entertaining. I mean this is the woman who managed to alienate the entire Chinese nation with a single poorly thought out comment. And she's at it again!

Reportedly Ms. Stone told Tatler magazine that she thinks Meryl Streep looks like an unmade bed. Dude, what?

Pull quote: "I think that's why Meryl Streep is working so much, because she looks like a woman we can all relate to. I look at her and I think, 'I'm chasing my kids, I've moved my parents in with me, I'm coping with food spills - that looks like me in real life.' Meryl looks like an unmade bed, and that's what I look like. To me, that looks true."

I haven't read Tatler (nor will I ever) and I don't know Sharon Stone so god knows I can't prove that she actually said this. But it does sound like her. And honestly, in context it reads like she's trying to compliment Meryl. As in "Meryl is so real and easy to relate to because she hasn't messed with her face and she looks like an unmade bed which is truthful and what we all look like" but in classic Sharon fashion it ends up sounding like a very bitchy insult.

I love this woman.

For the record, I also adore Meryl Streep. Meryl could act circles around most anyone in the business today and I'd stand in line for tickets to a film featuring her just reading the phone book. She's that good. She's also gorgeous. Not 'for her age', for any age. She's stunning.

But I also love Sharon because I think she sincerely doesn't understand why everyone gets so riled up about her statements. She's just being honest, dammit, and I find her totally unguarded comments refreshing in this PC day and age of prepared statements and publicist denials. Sharon is Crazy/Fabulous. She embodies the crazy and the fabulous.

You can get all up in arms about her Meryl comment if you want to but I have to tell you it's a waste of time. I don't think Meryl would give a rat's ass about Sharon's opinion of her either way. And for my money, I think Sharon admires her. She's just unable to phrase things in a way that doesn't somehow sound offensive. It doesn't make her a villain, it makes her awesome.

Also, this:

Yes. Topless on Paris Match at age 51.

I may be alone in this, but I'll never get tired of seeing Sharon naked. It's sort of a constant in the world. I mean the day we stop seeing Sharon naked, we'll probably also stop having weather altogether or see a herd of pigs fly by and to be honest, that's not a world I want to live in.

January 7, 2010

Best Question Last Week At Work

Customer: Is Avatar in 3D here?
Manager: No. It's in 2D.
Customer: What's 2D?
Manager: 2D is a normal film.
Customer: Okay. So can I ask you something I've always wondered?
Manager: Sure.
Customer: If 3D is the glasses and 2D is normal, what's 1D?
Manager: /pause/ There is no 1D.

I really like the simplicity of that person's world view, I must say.
3D is the glasses, 2D is normal, and there's no 1D.
We've come a long way in film but not so much in the understanding of the basic sciences.

Though, as a co-worker pointed out later, since time could be considered a dimension unto itself we actually are showing Avatar in 3D with the time spent watching being the third dimension.

January 5, 2010

Dear Self,

Are you ever going to update The Crypt? It HAS been a year...


Dear Me,

I resent the implication that I've neglected my blog for a whole year. Even if it's true. Also, I have nothing to say.


Dear Self,

Please try to maintain some form of regular posting schedule this year. Let's not call it a resolution, let's just call it Item One on the annual To Do list.

If you can't find something to blog about I will be forced to employ the services of Left Brain to keep things somewhat timely.


Dear Me,

Foul! I hate Left Brain, he's such a downer. Alright, alright, I'll find something. Keep your shirt on.