October 23, 2009

You know how they say 'the more things change, the more they stay the same'? Yeah. Well. Nowadays it's 'the more things change, the more Hollywood remakes can be made of the same damn thing over and over until you want to eat your own eyeballs'.

Cases in point:

1. The A-Team

Original cast circa 1983 - George Peppard (RIP), Dirk Benedict, Mr. T, and Dwight Schultz.
Purported new cast circa 2009 - Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Rampage Jackson, and Sharlto Copley.

2. Strawberry Shortcake

As she appeared in the 80s...


Now...


3. Fame
1980


2009


4. Monopoly
1935 - Deluxe First Edition
1996 - Star Wars Original Trilogy Edition
2000 - Millennium Edition
2001 - Pokemon Edition
2006 - World Cup Edition
2011 - Untitled Monopoly Project (Movie Edition)

5. Batman
1939 - the Bat-Man, DC Comics
1966 - Batman, TV, Adam West
1989 - Batman, Movie, Michael Keaton
1992 - Batman: The Animated Series, TV, Kevin Conroy
2005 - Batman Begins, Movie, Christian Bale

6. Psycho
1960 - Psycho, Film, Alfred Hitchcock
1998 - Psycho, Film, Gus Van Sant

Nothing is taboo.
Nothing is sacred.
Nothing lasts forever so remake it, baby, because nobody remembers anything from, like, a decade ago.

You will live to see the re-animated corpse of your childhood re-staged at least once every decade or so until you die. Or Hollywood stops eating it's own young. Or the Apocalypse. Whichever comes first.

October 18, 2009

I can't take credit for this (it's a gem from Cracked.com commenter demmagog) but I laughed out loud when I saw it. If the straight piece from Tetris had a gmail account, this is what his inbox would look like.


I know, right? It's so true. Stupid straight piece.