June 26, 2009

A little background:

I hate spiders. Since moving here I've had to attempt to confront my fear not because there are infinitely more spiders in New Zealand than Canada but because Balthazar (who is not at all afraid of spiders) doesn't want to be my 'spider exterminator' forever. He thinks it builds character to confront my fears or something. Also we both travel for work so sometimes he's living in another city and can't physically take care of the spiders for me. I am hard-pressed to be in the same building as a spider, never mind the same room. Killing them is out of the question. Squashing involves contact and I.just.can't.do.that. Ditto removal. Like I'm ever going to gently pick up a motherfucking spider just to relocate it. So I compromised by learning to get near enough to the spider offender to drop a glass over top of it. That's my solution. I can't kill them, I can't live with them, and sometimes Balthazar isn't around. Imprisonment is the only answer.

Sometimes, though, this solution isn't so much an answer as a new problem. Like the time Balthazar was away for the weekend and I imprisoned a spider about an hour after he left. Right in the middle of the doorway to the kitchen. SIGH. I had to find a way to remember that I'd stupidly trapped a spider in the most inconvenient of locations for 48 hours and I also had to warn Balthazar, who would be returning home late at night after I'd gone to bed.

My solution:

Objects under glass are larger than they appear in photos.

The terror a spider inspires is hugely disproportionate to it's actual mass anyway.

June 21, 2009

Update, Update, wherefore art thou, Update?

Point form real life news:

1. It's fucking cold here.
2. The big theatrical production I work for is set to open in just over a week... finally. SQUEE!
3. I work all the time.
4. I am pretty much tired all the time.
5. I saw Terminator: Salvation and while it didn't terminate me, it didn't prove to be my salvation either. It was, in a word, "meh".
6. Are you aware that the yellow snakes in the lolly bag are not actually a horrid lemon flavor but are, in fact, banana? To quote Gwen Stefani, "that shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S".
7. Balthazar and I actually had dates two nights in a row this week. Like, we saw each other two nights in a row for longer than the time it takes to collapse into comas in bed. Which is some kind of new record for us and is definitely awesome.
8. Any time NZ wants to catch the memo about this being 2009 and get central goddamn heating will be okay with me.
9. Did I mention the cold?
10. I haven't seen Joe, the neighborhood cat, since winter set in. And while I understand his aversion to being outside in the blustery chill, I am saddened by his absence.

That is all.