August 8, 2008

Things I Love (1970s Fashion Edition)

I love this photo. I love beautiful photos and especially beautiful photos of fashion. And I adore Anjelica Huston.

August 6, 2008

Your Weekly Catherine

Week Thirty

Did you know that Marg Helgenberger is currently the tenth highest paid actor on television? True story. According to the August 18th edition of TV Guide, Marg makes $375,000 per CSI episode. There are 24 episodes per season and it's a good bet Catherine is in every one which means that Marg is taking home a cool $9,000,000 annually.

Some people may say she's overpaid (coughTORCHcough) but I say the network should just keep throwing money at her to keep her sassing it up on CSI for a good long time to come. I love me some Catherine sass. That $9 mil is money well spent in my books.

I mentioned TV Guide so here's Marg at her sassiest excerpted from a TV Guide CSI promo shot a few years back.

August 5, 2008

What kind of Avon lady texts a confirmation of your order at 2 in the morning? I'm just asking.

August 3, 2008

Today the internet (or the sections of the internet reserved for celebrity gossip which comprise about 29% of the internet with the majority of the 70% remainder being taken up by porn and the other 1% by mind-numbing commentary on Important Technological Issues like whether or not Cuil is the next Google) is a-buzz with first photos of the Brangelina twins.

If you live in a cave and your cave doesn't have broadband and/or cable, maybe you don't know that there are these two actors, see, named Brad Pitt (the guy) and Angelina Jolie (the chick) who procreated and had the world's next infant messiah about two years ago. Well Shiloh, as the Chosen One was dubbed, is two now so therefore the world needs more infant deities to go berserk over so Brangelina (which is what you get if you smash 'Brad' and 'Angelina' together in wordplay - Shiloh is what you get if you smash them together physically) decided to do their humanitarian best and provide us plebes with not one but two tiny Olympians. (And by Olympians I mean the gods of mythology, not the bi-annual games participants.)

Thus Angelina brought forth her twin deities and wrapped them in Dolce and Gabbana swaddling cloths and named them Knox Leon (the boy) and Vivienne Marcheline (the girl) and the world did sit up in awe. And then a fucking bidding war between tabloids for the rights to the first photos began and Hello/People won with a joint bid of $14 million. Fourteen million dollars.

So today the fruits of the $14 million were unleashed upon the internet and you know what $14 million buys you? Pictures of babies. Now admittedly I'm probably not the best choice to weigh in on this global hysteria since my feelings on infants are somewhat lower than my feelings on cats, watching Beetlejuice for the fifteenth time, and sometimes even doing the dishes but I will tell you one undeniable truth and it is that $14 million is far too much money for photos of babies.

I won't even dignify this lunacy by linking to the photos. You don't need to see them. They look like babies! You couldn't tell me which one was Knox and which one was Vivienne if I offered you $14 million. They look small and bald-ish and sleepy and like every other baby I have ever seen in the history of forever. The only thing that makes these photos of babies different from any other is that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are in the photos with them.

So if you live in a cave without broadband and/or cable, lucky you. Because the secondary downside of $14 million being paid for a glimpse of two babies is that now Brad and Angelina can afford to buy like fifty more children of varying ethnic and socio-economic backgrounds that we'll be forced to adore via over-priced photos in bad magazines. And the cycle perpetuates itself.

I promise you, knowing what Meatloaf would do for love is more important than seeing what Brangelina twins look like.
... but he won't do that.

(hint: click the image to make it larger and readable - because you know you won't be able to rest until you know exactly what meatloaf would do for love.)