July 5, 2008

Barbarella is one of those absolute jewels of camp that can never be recaptured and that have entered the cult classic realm where all truly amazing but slavishly over-the-top camp gems go to find immortality. You can't dismiss the movie that actually birthed Duran Duran (the band named themselves after Barbarella's villain and had a nominal hit with their tune 'Electric Barbarella'), features Anita Pallenberg as the devilishly sexy Great Tyrant, and stars Jane Fonda in all her buxom blonde clothing-optional wide-eyed sex kitten sixties glory. And Barbarella herself manages to maintain peace in the galaxy in a variety of futuristic revealing outfits and through the power of love. So devoted is she that she sleeps her way through a barbarian, an angel, a revolutionary leader, and the Excessive Machine which promotes death by orgasm. Truly Barbarella has to be seen to be believed.

Given my love for campy gems and my absolute love of original versions of things, it is with no small amount of trepidation that I report that Rose McGowan is in the running for the lead in the eternally-in-talks remake of Barbarella. There's nothing wickedly wrong with Rose McGowan per se but she is Rose McGowan and, more to the point, she isn't Jane Fonda. And I'm a die-hard fan of originals. Besides, I'm strictly convinced that you can't perfect an innately imperfect but gloriously original thing. Barbarella has sets that would make the original Star Trek blush, it has psychadelic music, and it has a definite over-the-top sensibility. Those sorts of movie-making ethics don't fly today. CGI and big budgets have ruined absolutely everything. For director Robert Rodriguez - he of Grindhouse and Sin City fame - to think that he can turn Barbarella into a mood-heavy stylish modern orgy of CGI delights and artful nudity is arrogance of the highest order. There isn't anything in Barbarella that can be remotely considered 'artful' or 'mood-heavy' (though I'll give you 'orgy') and updating it to present-day standards will render it lurid and lifeless. See The Avengers movie for a drastic case in point. The other option, of course, is to remake it intentionally campy with the original aesthetic intact. For a myriad of reasons that's a terrible idea. The two that come immediately to mind are "Why bother?" and Gus Van Sant's Psycho. If it can't be modernized without essentially castrating it and there's no point in making a shot-by-shot remake of what has already been done, LET IT GO.

Hollywood, you are really trying my patience these days.

July 3, 2008

Meet Your Canadian Supermodels

Coco Rocha

Coco Rocha is 19 years old. She was born in Toronto, ON but grew up in Richmond, BC. She was discovered at an Irish dance competition at age 14. Coco is represented by Elite Management.

Coco in Vogue May 2007 photographed by Steven Meisel.

Jessica Stam

Jessica Stam is 22 years old. She was born and raised on a farm in Kincardine, ON. She was discovered in a Tim Hortons coffee shop. Jessica is represented by IMG Models.

Jessica in Vogue May 2007 photographed by Steven Meisel.

Coco and Jessica in the Christian Dior Spring-Summer 2008 ads.

Coco and Jessica backstage at the John Galliano Spring 2008 Ready-To-Wear show.

July 1, 2008

Your Weekly Catherine

Week Twenty-Five

The Weekly Catherine Resolution Blog Posts are twenty-five today! That's only two days later than my sister's birthday. Happy birthday, Seistor!

Twenty-five, eh? And she doesn't look a day over, you know, thirty, uh, five... moving on. I think we should celebrate with this post. This one should be all about fun. What's fun in Catherine's world? What do I love about Catherine? So much that I made it a weekly post, duh, but let's just pick a few things at random for the sake of it.

1. Her 'exotic dancer' backstory.
Not Catherine. Nomi Malone from 'Showgirls'. But secretly what I picture Catherine's past to resemble.

"I'm not a stripper, I'm a CSI!" If ever there was a reason to employ the use of flashbacks in CSI, this has got to be it. I'm just saying.

2. When she fucks up.
So... frequently. I adore Cat but let's be honest about her ability to abide by rules and/or follow protocol. To date and just off the top of my head she's used the evidence from an open case and the DNA lab to establish her own paternity, she covered up her involvement with a murder suspect, she accidentally blew up the DNA lab, she had a case thrown out of court for using the DNA lab to establish her paternity, she helped fake a crime scene to smoke out a criminal using reverse psychology... look, I don't have all day here. It's a marvel she's still got a job at all, much less any sort of rank. Which is part of why Torch hates her and a lot of why I love her. I love her sassy 'fuck you I'll do what I want' attitude and all the attendant fuss it generates. In the above photo she just realized that tabloid photos of a current crime scene are actually from the camera she didn't know she'd lost at said crime scene. God love her! She's so fabulously flawed.

3. Her blatant use of feminine wiles on the job.
... and... ... to name a few.

Evidence is sexy.

4. Her sense of humour.
Sometimes crime is funny. And sometimes crime isn't funny but work is. She cracks me up most when she's bitchy, though. So technically that has less to do with her sense of humour than my own but whatever.

Happy birthday to my sister and happy twenty-fifth Weekly Catherine post to everybody else. Here's to many more... like, whatever fifty-two minus twenty-five is.