April 11, 2008

All I'm Saying Is...

Superman...

George Eads.

One more time? Okay, here we go.

Superman...

George Eads.

You know?

April 9, 2008

The Art of Cult Cool

I've recently discovered two exquisite cult vampire movies that you really must see.

Vampyros Lesbos
Vampyros Lesbos is a brilliant example of the European Exploitation film genre. Made in 1971 by Jesus Franco, it's in German with English subtitles. As the title suggests, it tells the story of the beautiful and immortal Countess Carody who coaxes lovely young women to her island home, seduces them, and feeds on them. It's full of deliberate and bizarre imagery, plenty of nudity and blood, and features one of the most original psychadelic scores you'll ever hear. Soledad Miranda, in the lead role of the Countess Carody, embodies the sort of 70s chic that people errantly try to recapture now to ill effect and is mesmerizing to watch. It truly is too bad that she died in a car crash only weeks after Vampyros Lesbos opened.

The viciously appealing Soledad Miranda.

Now imagine a sexadelic 70s score playing overtop of this scene.

The Hunger
The Hunger is an example of a movie poorly received upon it's initial release but that has since gained cult status and a loyal following. Made in 1983 by Tony Scott, it stars the uber-stylish Catherine Deneuve, king of androgyny David Bowie, and a very young Susan Sarandon. It overdoses on mood and style to the detriment of plot but that's hardly a bad thing when you've got Catherine Deneuve dressed by Yves Saint-Laurent vamping it up in (what was then) modern-day New York. It tells the story of vampire couple John and Miriam who seek the assistance of a doctor who specializes in the study of aging disorders when John (David Bowie) begins suddenly to rapidly age. Soon he becomes a withered living corpse and Miriam (Catherine Deneuve) decides to initiate Susan Sarandon's young doctor into immortality to replace him as her lover. Like Vampyros Lesbos, The Hunger contains erotic lesbian seduction scenes but delivers less random imagery and more gothic horror overall.

Catherine Deneuve is now another Catherine I love.

She's always icy cool, even when feeding.

April 8, 2008

Your Weekly Catherine

Week Thirteen

Realizing that there are fifty-two weeks in a single year and that presently, at week thirteen, I have thirty-nine more Catherine posts to make is a staggering thing. I love it, don't get me wrong, and if anyone is up to the challenge it's me but... still. Thirty-nine (39!) more Catherine posts. Clearly I'm going to have to spend a lot more time scouring the net for photos and get a bit more in-depth on the inner workings of CSI Willows.

But for this week...

Catherine and Warrick.

This is what you get. Shameless promotion of The Relationship That Never Was But Still Could Be. Catherine has, in a word, horrendous taste in men. From deadbeat ex-husband Eddie to cheating jerk Krycek from The X-Files, she's more or less a magnet for the shifty, damaged, abusive, or just plain idiotic of the male species. Like a lioness, she picks out only the lamest and most diseased in every herd. But with Warrick all that could change. Warrick is just damaged enough to be interesting to Catherine - he's a recovered gambling addict and has a broken marriage under his belt - but he's a stand-up guy, smart, and stable enough to count. He's also, and this is kind of important if you've been paying attention to Catherine's dating history, sexy as hell. I think they'd be quite hot together.

It's entirely possible they've already hooked up in Season 8 as I'm only about seven episodes in. I'm pacing myself through the season because there are rumors this may be the last or next-to-last year the CSIs hoof it through the Vegas underbelly to slick tunes under blue mood lighting. If so, I want this one to last. So no spoilers on the Catherine/Warrick front, please. This, of course, throws the door wide open for you, Torch, to ruin everything for me. But in order for you to do so you'd either have to watch a substantial portion of the season or surf a substantial amount of CSI-related sites in order to get enough ammo to truly drop a spoiler bomb on me. Which, in it's own way, would mean I still win.

Still, there's the gauntlet. If you can set aside your loathing of Catherine long enough to actually immerse yourself in the show just for the joy of ruining it for me, have at it. Don't say I never do anything for you.

April 6, 2008

My New Blue Crush

Pa'u Zotoh Zhaan

How is it that I remained unaware of the existence of the uber-original and fabulous sci-fi series Farscape until just last week?

Farscape is like Star Trek: TNG injected with The Muppets on crack and liberally mixed with The Sopranos-style tension and in-fighting. It's actually, and being a die-hard TNG Trekker this is hard to say, so many hundreds of times better than Trek that I almost feel ridiculous comparing them.

And, continuing my instinctive ability to find and crush on a strong female in everything I watch, I adore Zhaan. She's sensitive but strong, capable of violence but usually controlled, wise but not cliche, spiritual and complex. As you can see from the above photo, she's also blue from head to toe. She's a tenth level Delvian priest. And she's a plant. You heard me. Not 'plant' as in 'spy' but 'plant' as in 'flora'. She's like a giant, sexy, independently mobile, sentient orchid. There is really something savagely brilliant about creating a sentient vegetation-based character.

There are other amazing characters as well but you need to discover them for yourselves. I won't rob you of that pleasure. So if you guys already knew about Farscape and were for some reason keeping it from me, shame on you. But if you haven't yet discovered Farscape, then holy hell get on this ride.

Vampire's Note: Yes, I have altered this post. That's my prerogative as divine author and omniscient super-overlord of this Crypt. If you read the original post there was nothing wrong with it. I just like this one better.