October 22, 2007

Vampires hate doing things during the day. There are several reasons for this. Probably the most compelling is the whole sunlight-turns-us-to-ash thing which, admittedly, is a pretty big motivator to become a night person. But there's also the thing about humanity being sort of annoying unless, say, you're hungry. And the over-crowding that happens during the day which mercifully clears up at night unless you are the sort of vampire who likes hunting in nightclubs. And of course there's the fact that the concept of morning was invented by a true masochist or possibly just somebody incredibly antisocial who seriously loathed the world. What earthly good are mornings really?

Anyway, today, contrary to all my strong and deeply rooted impulses to the contrary, I had to get up at the wholly ungodly hour of 8. O'clock. In the morning. Which, since I only went to bed/coffin at 5.30, has made for a pretty damn bleary day all told. The world as a whole needs to be more sympathetic to vampires and stop scheduling everything in the unholy light of day. With all the PC movements busting our asses for every damn thing these days, you'd think vampires would be catered to a bit more.

I'm just saying. There's only so much coffee and virgin blood can do. This daylight thing is just intolerable most of the time.