October 11, 2007

Last night I watched the CSI Season 7 episode "Redrum" and if you haven't seen it then you either don't watch CSI or can't be bothered watching TV as it actually airs and just watch it on DVD when the mood strikes like I do so haven't yet reached this episode. Either way, there will be spoilers in this post. So read on only if you have seen the episode, don't care if you ever see the episode, or generally like spoilers. (Here's one for you: King Kong dies at the end.)

Right off the bat I'm geeky enough that I like the title of the episode. (You had me at the title. *dramatic sniffle*) "Redrum" is totally "murder" spelled backwards and since this was the infamous "reverse forensics" episode it's wittily appropriate. It also references The Shining which is just brilliant. Though, sadly, no creepy little children with imaginary friends living in their fingers intoned "Redrum, REDRUM" in the episode. I don't know how that would have fit into the plot but it would have amused me.

The most significant thing to say about the episode is: How in HELL was this ever going to work? The CSIs make their living unearthing minute details with painstaking patience. They also don't have lives, which is a prerequisite for the level of exhausting research they put into solving every crime. They are the forensic equivalents of the Hardy Boys cross-bred with MacGuyver. There isn't anything they can't figure out. So falsifying a crime scene in order to smoke a criminal out of hiding is not only employing questionable ethics that probably violate constitutional rights on some level but is also doomed to failure when a key part of the plan involves not telling the very CSIs you need to verify the crime scene to begin with. Reverse forensics? Who comes up with this shit? Liev Schrieber, that's who.

I know Torch has a hate-on for Catherine (whom I absolutely and shamelessly love) so this episode is probably one of his favorites. Catherine goes along with Liev Schrieber's inane reverse forensics plan, lies to all her loyal CSIs, loses the criminal due to the shady nature of the idea of reverse forensics, and winds up with a bunch of disgruntled CSIs who no longer trust her and have to clean up her mess by actually solving the real crime. As if Sara needed any more reason to hate Catherine. (Classic line when Cath asks Sara to comment on how she feels in the wake of the deception. Sara: "If I have anything to say to you, Catherine, I will say it in private." COLD!) I can just picture Torch rubbing his hands in glee as Catherine's bizarre affinity for new guy Liev Schrieber (I predict he won't be around long enough to require me to be on a character name basis with him) drags her further into the hole with her fellow CSIs. However because I love Catherine I have to defend her by saying that she had very little recourse in the reverse forensics deal since it was ordered by the under-Sheriff. And she repeatedly stated that pulling the wool over her CSIs eyes would be not only impossible but that she hated doing it. So I forgive her. Torch?

Other classic Catherine Inadvertently Fucks Up episodes include "Weeping Willows" where her reluctance to tell Grissom that the suspect in their current homicide investigation hit on and injured her at the same bar and on the same night he supposedly snatched and killed his victim and "Inside the Box" where she used the lab for a personal DNA match against blood evidence to determine that Sam Braun was her father thereby providing lawyers with fodder for a mistrial.

Reverse forensics is a lot like eating a meal before you prepare it or, you know, reviewing a film before you watch it. Believably faking a crime scene on a show where the characters have been set up as exacting perfectionist nerds is completely implausible. Sort of like how Star Trek: TNG's "ship in distress" episodes had to really work to come up with a virus/attack/infiltration that would disable not only all the mortal crewmembers but Data besides. It's a pointless exercise.

I still love Catherine, though. And in time, Nick will forgive her. Maybe when Liev Schrieber's character inevitably dies or is transferred and she inexplicably mourns his passing/leaving. (Note to the CSI writers: Catherine making goo-goo eyes at Liev Schrieber is not only painful, it's not remotely believable. This is the woman who voluntarily dated Krycek from The X-Files, performed her own sexual assault kit in "Built To Kill", and was previously a coked-up exotic dancer. Do you really think repressed nerdy suits are her type? Really?) Nick will soften. I know it. No, Torch, YOU shut up!

October 10, 2007

"Justin Timberlake, Linkin Park and Beyonce Knowles join American Idol star Chris Daughtry as the nominations leaders for this year's American Music Awards."
(via the venerable IMDb)

And I thought I was completely out of touch with today's music.

All I'm saying is, if you've ever questioned whether or not entertainment industry awards institutions were more motivated by fiscal gain and corporate mandates than original artistry and the creative process... well... Chris Daughtry, ladies and gentlemen!