July 20, 2007

Getting to know you, getting to know all about you...

Some of you visitors to the Crypt search for random things and end up here by chance. By HAPPY chance, of course, but still more or less accidentally. In the past month, three things have brought you here:

"lady vampire"
"Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil memorabilia"
"goddess thirsts"

I guess that's me in a nutshell.

July 17, 2007

Oh McDonalds, how I hate thee! *shakes fist*

I dislike both Shrek the Third and McDonalds but together they have conspired to create something viciously tantalizing - the mint chocolate milkshake. Zounds! And curses! How can two things I hate spawn something I want to consume? (God that sounds terrible.)

I used to love the orange chocolate shakes and the special St. Patrick's Day Shamrock shakes at Mickey Dees. Then I went off the whole McD experience because a) I became a vegetarian, b) the "food" started giving me gas and stomach cramps, and c) I watched Super Size Me. Cured. I quit McDonalds cold turkey and never looked back. But those shakes... those shakes, man... like booze they call me, the siren song of the thing that is wickedly bad for me that I want want WANT...

I'm tempted but so far I've resisted the temptation that is the Shrek shake. Goddamn you McDonalds for your evil ways!! *shakes fist again*

So out of curiosity and in an effort to curb this longing I visited the McDonalds website. There they have this nifty thing called a 'Nutrition Calculator' where you can find out exactly what is in any item on their menu. Did you know the milkshakes are comprised of low fat milk, sugar, milk solids, glucose syrup (containing sulphites), maltodextrin (containing sulphites), vegetable gums (412, 407, 407a, and 466), mineral salt (452), and flavor. ? No, me neither. But I assure you that list is both off-putting enough to cure my craving and more complex than I ever assumed McDonalds "food" would be. Back in the day I had an ex-boyfriend who harbored a theory that all McDonalds food was made from two basic ingredients - McSolid and McLiquid - and that each item on the menu was created by combining different percentages of the two ingredients together. For example, the Big Mac (being solid and meaty) was 95% McSolid and 5% McLiquid whereas the orange juice (being a drink) was 92% McLiquid and 8% McSolid. It really did seem like a workable theory despite the fact that he was in all other ways an absolute wanker. So quite frankly, I'm surprised at the complexity of ingredients in the milkshake. Though even more put off than if it was merely a combination of McLiquid and McSolid.

As a perplexing side note, sulphites are defined as "compounds that contain the sulfite ion SO32−. They are often used as preservatives in wines (to prevent spoilage and oxidation), dried fruits, and dried potato products" and that "asthmatics and people with allergies to aspirin (also know as salicylate sensitivity) are at an elevated risk for reaction to sulfites". Thank you, Wikipedia. And no thank you, McDonalds.