February 2, 2007

Whilst chatting with blu he came up with an idea for a recurring blog topic here at The Crypt. (Or La Crypt because I'm so damn cultured.) So without further ado I present the inaugural installment of...

The Other Day At Work...

The other day at work I answered the phone with my usual "Good afternoon, My Place of Business. You're speaking with VampireNomad." And I was promptly greeted with "A REAL PERSON!". Loud, right in my ear. There is only one phone menu to negotiate your way through in order to get any number of quote real people unquote at my workplace so I know it's not like she was stuck in some labyrinthine option hell for days on end before arriving in my care. I gave the obligatory fake-chuckle (whilst rolling my eyes ever so subtly) and asked how I could assist. She then said, "I'm old."

I'm so rarely rendered speechless. It's kind of an interesting, if disconcerting, sensation.

January 31, 2007

In the global game of Where's Waldo that I like to play with Craig Parker and his elusive career, I can now report a recent triumph. Craig Parker has been (professionally speaking) found! As in, I found out what he's been working on of late. I WIN THIS ROUND, YOU ELUSIVE LITTLE BUGGER!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!! My minions totally tracked you down.

He's in brand new ING Bank ads in the UK. Ad #1 and Ad #2.


Apparently when Elves die they go into financial commercials.

January 30, 2007

At certain times The Truman Show is actually incredibly profound.

"Dude," I said to my friend, "do you think there's a writer making up lines for them to say to Truman as it happens?"
"Like with earpieces?" she asked. "A spontaneous script? That's mad."

"They must have, like, millions of cameras everywhere. Running all the time."
"How many times does a man masturbate by his age?"
"Like millions."
"Dude. They'd see him every time."

"We are those people!" I said when the viewers were shown.
"We are," she breathed. "We're watching him right now!"

"OMIGOD HE CRACKED THE SKY!" we squealed in unison when his boat reached the wall of the dome.

Then later, on the back steps, we marvelled at the twilight sky.
"It's so pretty," she said. "Look at the clouds moving. How did they do that? Projectors?"
"I think projectors," I agreed.
"And he never would know the difference because he'd never seen the real sky."
"Dude, what if we are totally looking at a projected sky right now?"
"I think that's, like, the whole point of the movie."


Good times.