July 14, 2006

It's sort of odd that Homie's latest post is about music at work... we're having a Twilight Zone moment of connection... again.

Our music at work is diverse and quite hip and only sometimes mind-numbing. The problem isn't the music, it's the employees. Their complaints, while pretty much a daily occurrence, are never the same twice. They are as creative and individual as the people making them. I should probably add that the music plays downstairs in the public cafe space while all the employees who are complaining work upstairs on totally separate floors with no connection to our music system. Nonetheless, the music playing is:
a) Too loud.
b) Not loud enough.
c) Not the right "feel" for our workplace.
d) Not to the employee's personal taste.
e) Alienating customers.
f) Alienating employees.
g) Too moody.
h) Too popular.
i) Too old.
j) Too different.
k) Too new.
l) Not modern enough.
m) Hard to understand.


One day an employee will complain and will also accidentally run into my boot ass-first directly afterwards.

How can music alienate employees anyway? They're PAID to be there. It's not about fostering the right atmosphere to make them want to return on a regular basis. I could foster an atmosphere of deliberate hostility towards employees and they'd still be on the payroll. I mean, really... is there possibly a song I could play that would actually perform the act of firing an employee? If you find one, bring it to me and I'll play it. And I bet you the complaint won't be that it's alienating employees, it will be that the song is hard to understand. Or possibly that they're colorblind and the harmonies are aggravating their red/green insensitivity.

I should play country. I don't even think New Zealand knows what country is. They have not yet BEGUN to complain!