December 10, 2004

Duckie has been after me to update. I don't ever update anymore because I spend so much bloody time emailing the world about my escapades that it seems redundant to post it all again here. But because Duckie is persistent and has proved such a tried and true friend (and duckling) while I am away vampirizing the other side of the globe, I shall endeavor to do right by her. So this post is for Duckie.

What's been going on in New Zealand? First and foremost, I KICK ASS. More on that in another update. Secondly, I saw Adrien Brody. This seems odd to me. Not because Adrien Brody isn't deserving of a brush with vampiric glory (he was so fab in The Pianist and even managed to survive The Village with dignity) but because I had no idea virgin sacrifices could go awry. I mean I have been sacrificing the pure of flesh all this time in hopes of the Valar granting me a Craig Parker or Marton Csokas sighting. And yet instead I practically brush shoulders with Adrien Brody. What am I doing wrong? Is there a trick to this virgin sacrifice thing that I'm not aware of? Does one actually have to throw them into a live volcano for it to work or is the sacrifice itself sufficient? The things they DON'T have for Dummies books on are astounding, really. I mean sex is pretty point-and-click. Insert Tab A in Slot B. Even a nerdling painting action figures on a Friday night at the Games Workshop could eventually figure that one out. And yet they have a for Dummies book on sex. But not live sacrifices. Go figure. *is baffled* At any rate, I've now seen Adrien Brody. He looks just like you'd imagine him to. Tall, sort of long-faced, rather distant, oddly intriguing, vaguely well-dressed in that "I'm a homeless celebrity" sort of way. And since his name isn't Craig or Marton, he escaped the encounter with nary a scratch. I didn't even stop him. As Duckie says, "When you finally do meet Craig Parker, I fear for him." Yeah. Poor guy to be so cursed as to have a blonde vampire throwing herself lustily at him. WHAT A DRAG.

What else is new? I'm alone in Wellington. I imagine there's a song in that somewhere. Probably sung to the tune of "Alone on Prom Night" or something. *has ugly visions of John Travolta and his chins crooning to her from the doorway of the internet cafe and wishes to god she had mace on hand* Anyway, the Bear himself is back at home now. Yup, Homie went home to pursue mining and love. Not necessarily in that order. I wish him all the best, truly. We had a helluva time together, let me tell you! The stories I could tell... *doesn't as she has already emailed a lot of them and hates repeating herself* The end result is that I'm now here in Wellington all by me onesy, as Jack Sparrow would say. But unlike Captain Jack, I CAN steer this thing all by me onesy. Savvy? I am taking names and kicking ass. And wishing Kiwis didn't say "sweet as" in response to everything as it's beginning to take up permanent residence in my vocabulary. MUST... PURGE... WEIRD... SLANG.

At this point I'll note that Blarg has long since stopped reading because he hates to scroll so if I had anything bad to say about him, I now can. That Blarg... he's so... just... NICE. And funny, dammit. And I miss him. *bawls* This is going nowhere fast. If I get on a bent about how much I miss everybody (Kimdianna, Troi, Crogdor, Dragonfly, Thor, Blu, Duckie, Skotty, Shannie, Liz, Rusty, Kirsi, Neverlus, Homie, Michelle, T'n'A ('M), Bilbo, my darling Poe, Joe Bear, my Elf action figures, that guy who makes the great coffee at the Sugarbowl, that other guy that one time who did that thing...) YAAAAA!! *gives a Xena yell* Nope, can't go there. I shall enter warrior princess mode (like being undead isn't weird enough) and battle back the homesickness. I'm actually pretty cool here now and feeling much love from all of you lovely folk who just won't stop sending the love in emails and letters and the like. So thank you.

Did I mention I've been watching a helluva a lot of Mercy Peak and Xena: Warrior Princess episodes at the Film Archive here? No? Okay, that'll be in my next post. Pretend I didn't say anything. *whistles*

Is this good now, Duckie? I'm sleepy. Dawn is coming and I feel my blood slowing. Away to the crypt I go.