August 31, 2004

Some of you may wonder what the holy hell I'm doing up at five to six in the morning. Fretting, apparently. After two and half whole hours of sleep my body has decided it can't stand anymore of this laying around and got my brain up to worry about things like "Did I pack my nail clippers?" and "Should I vaccuum before I steam clean the carpets?"


All things considered, given the fact that we are out on our asses in six measly hours and the apartment is obviously still together enough for me to have both a functional computer and a desk to sit at, I'd far rather be discussing which hunk is frivolous and mirthful and which one just really likes ceramic figurines.

*wonders if these sentences will make sense after actual sleep has been had*

*doesn't care*

Moving Thanks and Kudos:

~ To Deb-o and Crogdor who have really just been amazing. I think Deb-o may have packed and sorted more of my things than I have. They've turned their living room into a bedroom for me and are already hosting Poe. "Keep smilin, keep shinin, knowing you can always count on me, for sure, cuz that's what friends are for..."

~ To Blu and Duckie who not only came over to help dismantle furniture, haul it, and clean fun things like bathrooms, but provided us with dinner besides. Above and beyond.

~ To Kirsi and Neverlus who made the long haul downtown first thing yesterday (on their anniversay no less) to take my library and writing into safe storage for the next year. Not to mention taking extras once they got here just to be accomodating.

~ To Michelle who spent an entire Sunday packing DVDs, CDs, and the whole kitchen of a home she barely knew existed a month prior. Talk about grace.

~ To Shannie and Skotty for adopting Poe which was, honestly, the biggest stressor of this entire escapade for me. If my cat's not cared for, I'm a wreck. Also just because they're family. Family who doesn't leave if I'm running behind.

~ To everybody else, both near and far, who put up with either my snappy stress levels or constant whining with a courageous front and ready ear. I didn't handle it all that well and it showed. But some of you (Homie and Anthony in particular) really endured my stress with admirable cool.

I'll get to you all with the round of hugs that are coming so just hang tight, okay? If you live long distance, I'll have to travel. Anthony, meet me half-way. Vegas sound good?

Okay. Back to work. *hears whip crack overhead*

August 29, 2004

It's late. I am surrounded by chaos. The apartment is an avant-garde exercise in modern deconstructionist impressionism. I am the artist wielding the reluctant brush. All around me are memories and things that must be discarded. I can't stand the disaster of it all, I can't stand the dividing up of my life's net worth of possessions, I can't stand the purging. It's all worth it in the end; you know how the cliches go. The end justifies the means. Means to an end. Somehow these are intended to comfort me. Somehow.

I escaped in the midst of it all. I fled to the SugarBowl with Troi and Crogdor, Homie and his girlfriend. And it was wonderful. Soothing and warming and a tangible reminder of why we put ourselves through things like this. For love, for learning, for adventure. If life was merely the sum total of our material wealth, we would be hellishly immersed in a pointless cycle of gain and loss for no reason at all. But to face a world of experience and wild challenge is to really be alive. To do so with people whose generosity and loyalty is unparalleled and whose joy for the mere sake of yours is genuine is to be wealthy beyond note.

There are a few people in this world who truly touch me. Who get inside and make my life brilliant in ways I can't quite explain even with my vast storehouse of words. Those people, you glorious few, you know who you are and I thank you. I thank you. Chaos and moving and wandering far and wide only enhance friendships like these. All the joys and pains and wonders I take in will come rushing to you as well and we'll all be richer for enduring these things together. You are the world to me. In the end, when all the walls are stripped and boxes are stowed, only people remain. Only people who give you the last nudge of courage to reach your dreams.