May 5, 2004

At The Sugarbowl tonight, Skotty and I dined on Monkey's Breakfast ("Monkey's Breakfast: it's what's for dinner," said Skotty) and discussed current events. In an understandable segue, we got onto the topic of Lance Bass and Skotty let me in on a very intriguing secret. The ever-popular children's books about Curious George are actually based on the life and times of one James Lance Bass of NSync fame. Not even loosely based, either. The books echo Lance's life directly but to ensure his ongoing privacy (well okay, "privacy") the tales are sold as being about "George". This secret is probably controversial and all due (and undue) credit for this revelation goes to Skotty who can be reached at with any comments or questions. Or lawsuits.

Upon coming home I indulged in a little research on the topic and the similarities actually are staggering. I'm surprised nobody has put this together sooner.

This is Lance with award in hand at his induction into the Mississippi Musicians Hall of Fame.

And this is George in the book that details how he received his award of merit.
What's even more interesting is that upon closer examination, Curious George gets a medal is the story of how "after repeatedly disastrous efforts to get himself out of trouble, George ends up being the first monkey in space." Whoa. Sound familiar?

Yeah, exactly. Lance's space dreams may be on hiatus pending a mission that isn't complicated by bickering sponsors but through George he's already been there and back.

There are a multitude of specific Lance moments documented by George, actually.

At some point Lance learned his alphabet in order to sign millions of autographs for sobbing girls. As did George. Minus the sobbing girls.

Lance reportedly likes the beach. And George too has a fondness for beaches. Coincidence? Come on... what are the odds?

I have a sneaking suspicion that Curious George and the Puppies is a cover for the story of how NSync got together. And Skotty assures me that Lance's beginnings were very much like George's, as Lance too was discovered by a man in a yellow hat (a man he calls "dad" for simplicity's sake, according to Skotty) in the jungle. Curious George Visits the Zoo is apparently the story of where Lance spent his formative years. I admit I was skeptical at first but you can't ignore the mounting evidence. Skotty sums it up so tidily, too. "Lance wanted to go to space and so did George. George is a simian who can't speak english and, you know. It's Curious Lance, really."

"Stop the near insanity!" ~ Mike Nelson, MST3000

May 4, 2004

Happy 25th...

Thanks for absorbing my surgery frustrations via your bobble-head. I dedicate this post to you on your birthday, space cowboy and dirty pop muse.