June 8, 2004

More? You bet there's more.

Very Secret Diaries of Troy

Menelaus of Sparta

Day One
These Trojan princes are very pretty. Not entirely sure Priam's not pulling a fast one and sending out daughters in armor.

Day Three
Does he even shave? Helen's lucky she's married to a real man.


Day Six
Haven't seen Helen around today. Probably busy sorting her gowns like last night. And the night before.

So have just learned she's run off with that fairy princeling. Is there egg on my face or what? Suppose there's no way to keep this out of the oracles either. Whole country will be talking about it by tomorrow.

Heigh ho, to war then.

Day Seven
Spoke with Agamemnon. Has agreed to go to war for Helen. Says he needs a few days to round up the thousand ships. What a show-off. Like a couple hundred wouldn't do.

Day Ten
Achilles takes the beach and sacks the temple and Agamemnon gets the girl?

Then again, what would Achilles do with a girl?

Day Twelve
Paris the Pixie has challenged me to a duel. Mano-a-princess. Would laugh if wasn't so offended. Seriously, what does Helen see in this guy?

Fe fi fo fum, I smell the blood of a Trojan son. Speaking of blood, am really hungry. Wonder what's for dinner?

Apparently rotisserie me. Damn Hector.

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