October 14, 2003

"Revenge is a dish best served cold." ~ Old Klingon Proverb

You know a movie's going to be good when it starts with a Trek reference. 'Kill Bill Volume One' embodies the essence of that Klingon proverb and then some. Klingons could learn a thing or two about cold-blooded revenge from the Bride.

The players:
Uma Thurman is *BEEP* (name beeped out), simply called the Bride, formerly known as Black Mamba
Lucy Liu is O-Ren Ishii a.k.a. Cottonmouth
Vivica A. Fox is Vernita Green a.k.a. Sidewinder
Daryl Hannah is Elle Driver a.k.a. California Mountain Snake
Michael Madsen is Budd a.k.a. Cobra
David Carradine is Bill
Julie Dreyfus is Sofie Fatale
and a whole ton of martial arts, anime, and classic B-movie celebrities who fill in the rest of the roles

The plot:
DiVAS (Deadly Viper Assassination Squad) turn the Bride's wedding into a massacre after she, presumably, leaves the group. Unfortunately for them she is somehow left alive. Four years later she awakens from her bullet-in-the-brain induced coma and sets out to exact revenge upon her former colleagues, including the titular Bill, leader of the DiVAS. Much killing ensues.

The movie:
... is a winner! There is something for everyone in 'Kill Bill Volume One'. Samurai swords, classic movie references, martial arts, anime, 'Pulp Fiction' slickness, rapid-fire dialogue, babes, blood, fights, and all under a haze of Tarantino brilliance. It's so good. It's so bloody good. (Not just a clever turn of phrase, either.)

The verdict:
Four spaceys out of five. One half docked for the angsty cliffhanger ending (necessitated by the splitting of the original film into two halves) and the other for splitting the movie in the first place. This is worse by far than waiting for the end of the 'Best of Both Worlds' Next Generation cliffhanger to resolve. It's on a par with what it must have been like to watch 'The Empire Strikes Back' in theatres and then have to wait an EON for the 'Jedi' resolution.

The warning:
'Kill Bill Volume One' is not for the timid. All of the shock in 'Pulp Fiction' looks like a primer next to this. A mere deep knee bend before the actual workout. Be fairly warned. Body parts do not remain attached to the places where they sprouted from. Heads included.

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