October 5, 2003

It's gorgeous outside. I mean I had to paint my toenails again so I could wander around in sandals. In October. In the frozen northern tundra which I call home. I don't know how dastardly the real effects of global warming are, but if the only effect I'm currently going to notice is the ability to show off dazzling blue toenail polish in October... you know... how bad can it be?

Spoken like a true ignoramus, I know.

What if your eyeball popped out of it's socket and dangled against your cheek? Aside from the obvious agony something like that would cause your delicate nerve endings, WOULD YOU BE ABLE TO SEE OUT OF THAT EYE? If the optic cable were still attached, I don't see why you wouldn't. So one eye would have a straight-forward view of the room and the other would have a swaying view of the floor. Wouldn't that be weird? There are a lot of places you can take a thought like that... too many, really... and if Blarg has his way, we'll be paying dearly for the technology of removable eyes by next year. It's not that I doubt him. Okay, I doubt him. He sees invention, I see the Borg.

Seriously. You have to wonder about our collective sanity. (Happy Birthday, Blarg! You crazy would-be tycoon you.)

If you read Homie Bear's blog you'll note that he recently watched 'Pulp Fiction' and 'Basic Instinct'. Here's what irks me about that: I now can't blather on about my opinons on said films because he got there first. I was in the room for both of those viewings ("I don't dig on swine" - cue Blu's laughter now) and thus, since he posted before I did, I have nothing else to add that could possibly be construed as original. Except that did you know the collector's director's uncut DVD version (too... many... aadjectives... Jim.... she'll... blow) of 'Basic Instinct' comes encased in a blue plastic block of 'ice' and is equipped with a personal icepick? No, seriously. The icepick doubles as - no, not a murder weapon you fiends - a pen. Red ink. I want to be in the think-tanks that come up with these promos. "Okay, 'Basic Instinct' rerelease - I'm thinking a How To Murder kit. You know, DVD with extras that storyboard the killing, icepick pen, and block of ice. Yeah? Yeah? Nice, eh?" I can't wait to watch the movie again with the 'feminist critic' overdub option on. You only WISH I was making this up!

Okay. I'm hungry, the sun is shiny, and I need to leave this damn apartment. Right now. I swear I'll update more than once a week now. I swear it. Of course a little encouragement in the form of 'bite me' comments wouldn't hurt. (wink wink nudge nudge)

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